We’ve all heard the saying, “watch out for the quiet ones,” but I always assumed that quote referred to the bookish-looking, unadorned young women who always wore glasses and smiled sheepishly if you mentioned sex. Until I started writing erotica, I didn’t realize that could also refer to sexy senior citizens.
Yes, we assume that as one ages, the sex drive goes into a sex stall. There wouldn’t be so many Viagra commercials if a good portion of men over 40 didn’t need a little help rising to the occasion. But just because the equipment may need a little boost to get it properly working again doesn’t mean that the “urge to merge” still isn’t alive and well in people who are “up there in years” (anyone over 40).
Women, especially, know this is true. We hit our stride in our 40’s. Men may have a burning need to chase anything that wiggles its rear end at them when they are 20, but watch out for those cougars! Not only have they learned to strut their stuff, they’ve also had experience and aren’t afraid to tell men exactly what they want and need. Perhaps that’s why the older women/younger men themes in some of our stories rings true to a certain segment of the population.
But folks in their 40’s aren’t the only ones who still like sex. As people climb the age ladder, they still enjoy titillation. Though some might not want to admit it in public, they’re intrigued by it. I’ve come to the conclusion that yes, there is an entire audience of older people out there who quietly enjoys reading erotica novels.
In the past, whenever an older person would ask what kind of stories I wrote, I’d dance around the question by saying “um, romance.” But if they pursued the topic further by saying, “Oh, I’d like to buy one of your books. Where can I get them?” I’d have to be a little more specific in my description of what I write. After all, I didn’t want to offend them. But, more often than not, I’d be pleasantly surprised by their reaction.
In fact, last year, one of older the men I worked for asked if he could read a work in process. I gave him the first chapter of “Undercover Lovers” and I heard him ooh-ing and ahh-ing. He came out of the office and asked where he could read more. I told him the story wasn’t finished, but he could read “Desire’s Awakening” and gave him my web address. He left with a big smile on his face.
Though at least one-third of my published books were required to have graphic sex in them, I always made sure there was a solid storyline, too, involving charismatic characters who face believable situations. My goal is not to write smut, but to make my stories as realistic as possible. I don’t get turned on by x-rated videos where there is no storyline, just two (or more) people having sex, so why would I write that? If that is what a reader is looking for, they’ll have to read someone else’s books.
I’m always delighted when someone older than me asks to be my friend on Facebook so they can keep up with my newly-published stories. After my sister created the book video for “Decadent Delights” and posted it, I was stopped by several people at work who told me how awesome it was and that they were looking forward to reading the book. That, alone, makes writing these books all worthwhile.
Sex is just one part of our lives, but it is an important part. I guess that’s why people of all ages like it. We may grow older and lose our youthful sex appeal, but inside, we never really give up feeling like that young, sexy person. As long as that desire still resides with us, we can enjoy the rush that comes from sexual excitement, even if it is just from reading something that turns us on. And what’s the harm in that? After all, we’re only human.
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